the queen's accounts

Dear Lizzie Windsor,

According to a BBC news report each person in the country has donated 69 pence this year to fund the monarchy.

I do not wish to support a bunch of inbred parasites to ponce around in royal regalia, and therefore request that you reimburse my 69p forthwith. Additionally I would be obliged if you could calculate my previous years donations (I'm 57) together with accrued compound interest and forward a cheque to me at your earliest convenience.

I shall be donating this money to Movement Against the Monarchy in the hope that you and your brood soon meet the same fate as your cousins, the Romanovs.

Regards

Snook